Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
