While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
