You're my little dorito
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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