You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
