i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
