are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
