She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
