Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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