Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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