I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
