You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
