so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
