her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
wow bdsm is so cute
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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