i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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