I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
