guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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