so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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