Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
