I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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