Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
