don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
This house was built for laser tag.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
