where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
