Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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