Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize