my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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