I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
