Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
