You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize