So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
