Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize