epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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