I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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