Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
