Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
