shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
