i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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