I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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