I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize