I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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