wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
