I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
