im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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