I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
