we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
