Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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