you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
