Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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