Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize