soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize