The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
