just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
