how can u be prego again
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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