His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
