Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
be right there i have to get my cape
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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