I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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