i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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