cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize