She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
