matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
