it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
