He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
