Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
