mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize